Lost Coastlines

It's really ridiculous that I cannot write a personal statement to save my life, yet I can post billions of words on here almost every day.

But, how am I supposed to summarize my life in a paragraph? How am I supposed to let them know who I am?
Do I even know who I am?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just scared to admit that I do. Sometimes I'm scared to be myself.
I'm afraid I might hurt someone.

I'm getting closer and closer to the independence I've always wanted, but I feel as if I will always be weighed down by everything I've seen and heard.
The mile markers give me objects on which to count the mistakes I've made. And the further I run, the more things I remember about the past. The drive will be filled with blaring speakers and my red eyes staring out the passenger window. I'll avoid eye contact and communication with the driver, and ignore the piles of boxes behind me.

The scale is still balancing out.
On one hand, I can go somewhere where I will be happy, and get an O.K. education- but likely disappoint my whole family.
On the other, I can go far away from nearly everyone into a whole new place and get a comparitively better education (most likely), but I'll probably be uhappy the entire time.

Really, I don't even want to go to school. All I want is to wake up next to you. Let's stay in bed until the afternoon and forget to call our families. Let's let everything be beautiful for once. Let's try.